Hijinks at Paulie the Paperclip Campaign Endorsement Event

May 26, 2016

paulie ticket

Paulie the Paperclip, seeking to be the first paperclip ever elected to the Connecticut state legislature, appeared before the International Brotherhood of Office Products (IBOP) Monday night seeking their support.

The president of the IBOP delivered a rousing tribute about what a difference Paulie has made in bringing papers of all different colors and pound weight together. At that, members of the Forestville Industrial Singers (FIS), who were in attendance and Paulie supporters, stood en masse and sang a pitch perfect and beautiful rendition of “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” from “Cabaret” in the key of B to show their support.

Later they triumphantly passed the tiny two inch wire paperclip around like he was the Stanley Cup.

FIS performed abridged versions of some popular standards and contemporary works then fielded requests from the stunned audience.

Following the speech and the tunes, the still open jawed audience adjourned to Sporty’s Cafe and reviewed the performance over a pint.

The first reviews to come in were negative as expected.

“I found the choreography trite and the costumes passé.”
Liz Smith, NY Post

“A dreadful, lifeless, yawn fest. The best I can say is pass the Sominex.”
Rex Reed, The New York Observer

“No one was arrested so it is not worth our time to offer a review.”
The Bristol Press

Theatre critics, especially New York theatre critics, can be harsh but not all the reviews were bad, however.

“The rendition of Tomorrow Belongs to Me was terrific fun.”
The Bristol Observer

“I felt like I was at a feel-good musical. Is there a matinee?”
David Manning, Ridgefield Press

“The most fun I have had at an office products event ever!”
Unidentified Man

The tough little paperclip realizes he has a hard battle ahead with no support from the establishment so he was unfazed by the reviews, and plans to do more street performance art while campaigning around Forestville. “I will mime my speech to the Chamber of Commerce and unveil my economic plan with balloon twisting at the People’s Socialist Party Convention later this summer.”

Paulie the Paperclip will mime his next speech

Paulie the Paperclip will mime his next speech

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Paulie the Paperclip Looks to Make Political History

April 24, 2016
Artists rendering of Paulie the Paper Clip

Artists rendering of Paulie the Paperclip

State office seeker Paulie the Paperclip, who announced his candidacy last month, told gathered media Saturday at a fundraiser that he will run in both the 77th and 31st districts representing Bristol/Forestville. “It is probably illegal but what are they going to do investigate me? Please. I’m a paperclip,” Paulie quipped.

The peppy and self-absorbed paperclip said he does not want to hedge his bets so he will run for two seats simultaneously.

Paulie currently works full-time as a paperclip holding sheets of paper together at Landry, Issel and Escalanté, a Forestville consulting firm and that job has allowed him to do a great deal of travel often without warning. He has traveled to Accounting, Payroll, Human Resources and Shipping and Receiving all within the company. “It has allowed me to meet a diverse set of people but more importantly for them to meet me,” the infamous paperclip remarked.

If elected, Paulie boasted he would be not only be the youngest paperclip ever voted into elective office, but the only the paperclip ever voted into elective office. “Don’t vote for me because I have good ideas, vote for me because I am a paperclip so I can make history!”


Local Paper Clip Seeks Elective Office

March 10, 2016
Artists rendering of Paulie the Paper Clip

Artists rendering of Paulie the Paper Clip

Dissatisfied with local politicians, a two inch paper clip known as Paulie the Paper Clip, has declared his candidacy for the state legislature. “The state is falling apart. It needs someone who has experience keeping things together, like I do with multiple sheets of paper,” Paulie boasted at the press conference announcing his candidacy late Wednesday afternoon at Nuchie’s.

The always upbeat Paulie is a two inch silver piece of wire, formed into a loop. His current duties with Landry, Issel and Escalanté, a Forestville based consulting firm, require him to hold several sheets of paper together.

Due to his nomadic nature his exact residence is unknown. Therefore, he has not decided if he should run in the 77th District verses Cara Pavalock or against Henri Martin in the 31st District. “I don’t want to run against Whit (Betts) or take Frank’s (Nicastro) seat when he retires because I think they would both try to put me through the shredder,” Paulie remarked.

Despite his paranoia and the potential domicile problem, he believes he can get things done at the state legislature. “Unlike all of my potential opponents I am a unifying force it’s what I do ” he proudly said.