Sean Spicer to be Offered Communications Job with the Mayor?

July 22, 2017

Sean Spicer, White House press secretary, resigned Friday morning following the appointment of Anthony Scaramucci as Director of Communications.

Immediately following his resignation, City Hall officials, on behalf of Mayor Cockayne, reached out to Mr. Spicer to determine if he was interested in a communications job with the mayor’s office. Personnel Director Diane Ferguson told the mayor she was impressed with Mr. Spicer’s ability to explain the president’s various positions, even when he didn’t know what they were.

As an incentive, the administration offered to have a customized maple podium designed with Mr. Spicer’s name engraved. The podium includes an adjustable gooseneck microphone and not one but two cup holders.

Celebrity watchers wonder if Melissa McCarthy is going to be hanging out around town now as a result.

However, should Mr. Spicer accept the position it would lead to the termination of the mayor’s longtime spokesperson, Egor.

Egor is popular with residents but the mayor has grown increasingly frustrated with him because he has no command of the English language, and he speaks in the third person. Speaking from his home under the Anthony V. Savino Bridge on Route 72, Egor commented about the matter, “Egor not happy, Egor mad. You not like Egor when Egor mad!”

Members of the usual press contingent in Bristol expressed nervousness. Said an anxious Mike Chaiken of the Bristol Observer, “I heard the last reporter that argued with Spicer ended up cowering under a chair after a particularly harrowing barrage of Mother Superior-style repartee.”

The press pool is also concerned over rumors that Spicer will ban the use of cameras, mikes and even sign language at press conferences. “Does this mean we have to go back to using pen and paper?” Lorenzo Burgio of the Bristol Press plaintively asked. “Writing? I – I don’t remember how to do that.”


Presidential Vote Not the Only Item on the Ballot Tuesday

November 3, 2016


The presidential and local elections are not the only items on the ballot in Bristol/Forestville Tuesday. Several questions will also be put to voters:

1. Should city councilors remain residents of the council seat they were elected to?
2. When motorized vehicles are stopped at a red traffic light, should they be allowed to turn left on red when the way is clear or if they are in a hurry?
3. Should the requirement that police chief be a resident of Bristol be eliminated?
4. Should the requirement that police chief be a homo sapien be eliminated?
5. Eliminate the requirement that the fire chief become a resident of Bristol within 6 months of his appointment
6. Eliminate the requirement that the town crier become a resident of Bristol within 6 months of his appointment by the city chamberlain
7. Should visitors in City Hall only use the stairs for descending?
8. Shall the form of government in Bristol be changed from a mayor-council system to one run by an ethnically diverse wizard or sorcerer?
9. CONNECTICUT CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT (PROPOSITION 1) The constitutional amendment providing for the use and dedication of certain money transferred to the state highway fund to assist in the completion of transportation construction, maintenance, and the governor’s vacation house in the Hamptons, not to include toll roads.

10. CITY OF BRISTOL BOND PROPOSITION, PROPOSITION 1 The issuance of $6,000,000 bonds and notes for rail systems, facilities and infrastructure, including a fixed rail transit system, wishing well and apple cart to be operated by Capital Metropolitan Transportation Authority Inc.,(which may spend its funds to build, operate and maintain such system) servicing the Bristol Corridor, Forestville Station and surrounding communities and neighborhoods, and roadway improvements related to such rail systems, facilities, port-o-lets and infrastructure including topiaries and artificial plants dotting the landscape; provided that the City may not issue bonds or notes to pay costs of the fixed rail transit system (other than expenditures for planning, designing and engineering necessary to obtain grant and/or match funding) unless (i) the City obtains grant or match finding for the cost of the fixed rail transit system from the Federal Transit Administration or one or more other federal or state sources and (ii) the City provides funding in an amount not less than $400,000,000 to pay costs of roadway improvement projects of regional significance that are designed to relieve congestion, enhance mobility and manage traffic in the I-84, US 6, Route 72, Route 229, RM 2222, FM 734, LMNOP, Memorial Boulevard corridor; and the levy of a tax sufficient to pay for the bonds and notes.

Note: Funds received from Derived indirect tax revenues, versus Imposed non-exchange revenues and Government-mandated non-exchange transactions, should not be at the expense of Voluntary non-exchange transactions and their assets unless resources are provided at the state or local government level by mandate.

Explanation of Proposition 1: Voters will decide whether or not to authorize the city to borrow $600 million toward the cost of a $1 billion, rail system and roadway. The ballot language includes two conditions: (1) the rail project could commence only after the Bristol City Council commits to an additional $400 million for road projects on highways of “regional significance,” such as I-84, US 6, and Route 72; as directed in Section 6 of the proposal and (2) the city won’t build the urban rail line unless the Federal Transit Administration or other state or federal agency agrees to match what the city puts into the project as shown in Section 7(a) iii. If approved, the line would open for service on or about 2022 or at another time in the future. Resulting debt payments would likely increase the total tax bill on a $200,000 home by $217 per year, according to city officials. The city would own the rail line, wishing well and apple cart and they would be operated by Capital Metropolitan Transportation Authority Inc. and or a subsidiary thereof.

Some Taxpayer’s Love Local Tax Increase

June 9, 2016

Tax 02

City officials recently announced a modest 4.1 percent tax increase for the next fiscal year. Many residents are outraged over the increase but not everyone.

Niles Nitz, president of Forestville Taxpayers Association, applauded the decision and demanded city officials raise the mill rate higher than 4.1 percent. “We live in Connecticut the wealthiest state in the union; our tax burden should reflect that.”

Gilbert Franco supports the tax hike too and is aimlessly walking everywhere including the streets of Forestville near Route 72 with a sandwich board sign around his neck that reads “Tax Increases Changed My Life, Ask Me How.”

Sandwich 02

Resident Ann Lachler, has lived in Forestville her entire life, and said, “Each and every tax increase whether it is federal, state or city gives me the warn fuzzies and earth moving, toe clenching physical pleasure. Why couldn’t they have done this last year when I needed it?”

The city will raise the 34.61-mill tax rate to 36.03 mills but for Mr. Nitz and members of his organization it is of little consolation. “It only adds about two hundred bucks a year to my bill. Big freaking whoop. Can’t they do better than that?”

The Secret Order of Route 72

December 5, 2015
Route 72

Route 72

There is a long list of secret societies ranging through time from The Rosicrucians, The Knight Templars and The Illuminati to Skull and Bones, The Bilderberg Group and The Secret Order of Route 72.

The Secret Order of what?

Formed in 2008, the Secret Order of Route 72 is a secret society dedicated to the expansion of business interests regarding the Forestville section of the two lane roadway. Membership, which includes business leaders, bankers and other influential residents in the community, is restricted to Forestville’s elite, who as a result of their association have privileged access to the “gateway to Bristol.”

Pedestrian Bridge

Pedestrian Bridge

Ceremonial meetings take place on the pedestrian bridge overlooking the highway. Male members adorned in red hooded robes do Gregorian chants and read from the Federal Highway Transportation Act and the Uniform Commercial Code, while drinking a libation of wine and blood from a ceremonial chalice as the blare of the highway roars below.

Meanwhile their female counterparts, dressed as scantily attired voodoo priestesses, stir a giant boiling cauldron of highway aggregate while hailing and worshipping all things Route 72 and urban renewal at a temporary alter.

Female members of the Secret Order of Route 72 hailing and worshipping

Female members of the Secret Order of Route 72 hailing and worshipping

Forestville is thankful

November 24, 2010

Forestville Thanksgiving

Forestville is thankful for the Forestville Cemetery because we have a place to bury our dead.

Forestville is thankful for O’Brien Funeral Home which buries our dead.

Forestville is thankful for the dumpster behind Cumberland Farms because it is a good place to bring garbage when you can’t get to the dump.

Forestville is thankful for our railroad tracks which give our teenagers somewhere to go on Saturday nights.

Living on Forestville time

Forestville is thankful for the clock in Central Square which allows us to live on Forestville time.

Forestville is thankful for Route 72, without it we would be a village without a road.

Forestville is also thankful for Pine Lake and the scenery it provides, and the post office for our mail.

Welcome to Forestville

Forestville is thankful for the Forestville Village Association and the wonderful events they sponsor.

Forestville is thankful to Forestville Little League for providing a venue for our kids to play baseball.

Lastly, Forestville is thankful for Manross Library, the Pequabuck River and the fact that we are not part of Plainville.


Meet the new Route 72 same as the old Route 72

October 28, 2010

The view behind Pine Street Plaza looking to Plainville

I finally drove the new 2.2 miles of the new Route 72 from Plainville to Forestville.  There are four lights currently along the new road and with the exception of a small bump at the Plainville end (headed east), it is a smooth ride.  Of course the road is only a month old but in time it will have a healthy supply of environmental effects.

There is still work to be done along Pine Street so the project is not complete.  The foot bridge over the road looks nice at night when illuminated and no doubt this “road” will help the community.  However, I have been hearing about this road my entire life and I happy it is here but I can’t help but wonder: Is that it?


Route 72 is Done! Route 72 is Done (Sort of)!

September 28, 2010

Forestville from the air circa July 2010

Well, well, well.  Route 72 finally opened in Forestville yesterday to rave reviews from politicos and local residents.  Let’s relax people it is only a two and a half mile road.  Several winters from now we will all be complaining about its potholes and traffic snarls.

Work still remains to be done along and beyond Pine Street.

File photo

Fall 2009 from behind the Stop & Shop Plaza on Pine Street