The James Webb Space Telescope
TODAY’S TOP STORIES
Local Hoochie Mama Finds New Sugar Daddy
Geologists Say We Have A Pebble Shortage
Pequabuck River Not As Wet As First Thought
Webb Space Telescope
Scientists are atwitter over the latest images beamed back to Earth by Hubble. The photo batch includes views of new nebulae and galaxies bursting with color that look great framed on their walls. Hubble’s successor, the James Webb Space Telescope promises to keep more such images coming.
A lead on the Hubble mission, Dr. Edward Kleiner was breathless. “We’ve been staying up late working on what to call the nebulae we’re seeing. One looks a like twirly horseshoe and another, the exhaust pipe off a late-model VW Tiguan, one with the faulty diesel engine. But we’ll see what names test well with our focus groups.”
| Recommended by Boardman:
| Mars Rover Discovers Another Rock
| International Space Station Head Admits: “We Ran Out of
| Experiments Long Ago; ISS Just Used to Impress Women”
All these discoveries portend even more amazing ones with the Webb telescope. Colleague Dr. Hoji Kimasura elaborated. “The Webb telescope will hopefully find even more photogenic galaxies and supply higher quality jpegs to use for calendars, computer screens and memes. The pictures should drive up sales at the NASA gift shop.”
The new telescope has a primary mission of surveying the skies to look for stars Hubble missed and to look for all the spacecraft lost by the European and Japanese space agencies. Also, the telescope may do something involving science.
Critics complain about the excessive cost overruns and delays of the telescope. Dr. Kleiner has a different take. “Eight-billion dollars may seem excessive, but it’s far cheaper and more practical than sending photographers into outer space to capture those images. And what if what happened to Jupiter 2 happened to them?”
The telescope is now slated to launch October 2018. The first images from Webb are planned for June to meet printer deadlines for the 2020 calendar.