Local Man Successfully Buys Gas

August 30, 2015

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Solomon Weeks departed from his home around 1pm. Saturday and drove to Cumberland Farms on Church Avenue to purchase $20 worth of gasoline for his wife’s Nissan. Eyewitnesses say Mr. Weeks made small talk with the attendant prior to paying and pumping the gas himself. When the pump shut off, he secured the gas cap, got in his car and returned home safely.

He remains tight-lipped on whether he has more errands planned this weekend.

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Deavers’ 4th of July Celebration in Forestville

July 4, 2011

Deavers' 4th of July

Saturday was John and Barbara (Babs) Deavers annual 4th of July party.  The party had the usual assortment of cocktails, scrumptious hors d’oeuvres and an actual dinner menu! However, the highlight of the evening was not the food, or the Forestville Orchestra playing various patriotic songs, or the fashion show for charity or even the inspiring fireworks display, it was, by far, Barbara Deavers.  With her shoulder length hair and summer tan showing off her shapely leg, Babs was easily all the rage.

Moving quickly through Forestville’s various social classes that were in attendance, I sensed everyone had a spectacular time.  Those lucky enough to be there included Larson Canover, Maria Malvado, Solomon Weeks, Mitchell Luby, Dan Blazjowski, Rene Dubois, Zack Flanders, Trever Canby, Clovis and Kletis Denim, Virgilio Gonzales, Harley Pritchert, Mike Hill and Beth Hill, Ted and Nancy Tanner, Cookie Genison, Rob Halford, Betty Boukus, Howard and Phoebe Faris, Joe Kapperstein, Silas Minutia, Norbert Pendleton and Toby Jacks.

 


More Trouble for Forestville’s Jellybean

March 9, 2011

Pine Lake Jellybean's last known whereabouts

Forestville’s favorite son has more problems.

According to sources about sunset last Friday, the man known only as “Jellybean” turned off of Pine Street and drove his road weary min-van to the home of his boss and employer Solomon Weeks.

Weeks rarely permits visitors to his modest home which is built in the shadows of the ESPN campus just off Birch street, but by 7PM, he had a full house of co-workers including Dan Blazjowski celebrating a new large snow plowing and landscaping contract.

Jellybean entered Solomon’s living room and after acknowledging the gathered guests he picked up the guitar that was on display above the fireplace.  Unable to find the sound he was looking he dropped the autographed six string Fender on the floor, and went to the kitchen in search of a drink.

Jellybean opened various beverages and drank from each one until he found a suitable cocktail.

Leaving the opened containers behind, he then took a bath and returned to the kitchen wearing just a bandanna around his head.

“Hey Blaz,” Jellybean eagerly said acknowledging his snow plowing partner. Grabbing Blazjowski affectionately Jellybean said it was good to see him but did he have any beer.  Blazjowski motioned with his head to the garage. Raising an eyebrow Jellybean darted to the garage to find an ale of his liking.

“I can’t believe it,” Solomon Weeks said to Blazjowski near the foyer. “Jelly came by just after Jeopardy and he’s been on fire since he got here.”

After returning from the garage and playing an impassioned game of Pictionary with Al Tunis, Bob Kneeper and several others, Jellybean began making long distance phone calls from the Week’s land line and ordered pizzas from several area establishments because he, Tunis and Kneeper were hungry.

After the pizzas arrived and Jellybean could not find anything suitable to drink he left the party.  He was last seen parked near Pine Lake early Saturday morning but has not been seensince.

 

 


Forestville snow plow driver put on administrative leave due to the film Black Swan

February 22, 2011

Jellybean the snow plow driver

Jellybean, the popular Forestville snow plow driver for a local plowing company, called in sick to work during the last snow storm because he needed to see the film Black Swan, according to unnamed sources.

In recent weeks, Jellybean has been prone to a variety of illnesses and ailments which has resulted in the use of a hangover bag being applied to his neck during work hours. Jellybean was scheduled to work during the peak of the last snow storm when he advised his co-worker Dan Blazjowski “I can’t do it dude.”

Blazjowski called his supervisor Larson Canover and told him to meet them at the shop.  There was a problem.

Within a half-hour the key parties were in place, Jellybean, Blazjowski, Canover and Canover’s supervisor Solomon Weeks. Jellybean, standing six foot three and weighing well over 350 pounds, got up from his metal chair and helped himself to Canover’s Diet Coke and kept the hangover bag applied to his neck while he lit up a cigarette. His sixth so far.

“I can’t do it.” Jellybean said as the room filled with smoke. He could not plow these types of roads anymore. He knew it. They knew it. Everyone knew it. Besides he wanted to go to the movies and watch the Black Swan. A psychological thriller based around Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake starring Natalie Portman, formally of Star Wars and currently playing in movie houses across the country.

Blazjowski recognized that Jellybean was snowed out. A condition known among snow plow drivers when they have had it with plowing – hence the hangover bag and this late hour meeting.

Jellybean paced about Canover’s office, helping himself to his food and drink while he rambled on in a frazzled state trying to explain his position and anxiety. He told the assembled group that he had been up the previous night playing hangman and thinking about ballet.

Based on these revelations it was decided Jellybean would immediately be put on administrative leave so he could go to the theatre and watch Black Swan. It is not known when he will return to work.


Forestville has a new bump in the road

September 6, 2009
Forestville's new bump

Forestville's new bump

This is for Solomon Weeks who says I never report on road and travel news.

Due to the Route 72 road construction Forestville has a new bump, depending on weather you are leaving or entering the village on East Main Street.  You can’t miss it because there are signs along the side of the road in both directions (east and west) warning the traveler of the bump. 

 Solomon, are you happy?

The bump has a road sign

The bump has a road sign


Woman distraught after running out of Scotch Tape

January 22, 2009
Scotch Tape (file photo)

Scotch Tape (file photo)

Audra Weeks was wrapping a birthday present for a friend when suddenly she ran out of adhesive tape.  “I was pulling the tape from the dispenser and the next thing I know, the tape was gone.  I screamed to my husband Solomon but to no avail.”  Audra says she only needs two pieces of tape complete the wrapping project.

 

Scotch Tape spokesperson Ted Liu said that with any wrapping project preparation is essential, “We always recommend that the wrapper know how much tape they need versus how much tape they have.” 

 

The cost of additional Scotch Tape could exceed, $20.00 Audra said, in part because she would prefer to buy in bulk.  “I don’t want just one or two rolls on hand.  The tape will be gone by Christmas and that is the wrong time to be without adhesive tape.  That’s embarrassing,” she said.  Citing budgetary concerns Solomon Weeks would prefer a more modest purchase but he admits “She will do what she’s got to do.”