Yesterday, the Bristol Blues announced their promotional schedule for the 2018 season, which features several unique gimmicks to entice fans to the ballpark. A quick review shows last year’s much hated “Prohibition Night” was annexed, which will make fans and beer venders happy.
Below is a partial list of the 2018 promotion dates. Additional dates could be added and will be reported here should they become available.
Friday June 8, Political Correctness Night
The Blues kick off their promotional events with Political Correctness Night! It will be a night of baseball, fun and neutral words.
For example, the first baseman will be referred to as the first base person. Likewise, for the second base person and the third base person too.
Errors will not be recorded in the scorebook and instead they will be referred to as a “Deficiency Achievement”.
The “batboy’ will be known as the bat retrieval person.
Booing or rather “alternate cheering” will not be allowed.
All players and fans alike will receive participation trophies at the conclusion of the game.
Saturday June 23, Doomsday Prepper Night
When the world comes to an end why not be prepared? As a result, the first 100 fans to buy soda will receive a Bristol Blues Doomsday Prepper Bug Out Bag!
Each bug out bag includes a hand crank radio, MRE’s, a colorful gas mask, powdered water, 2 Potassium Iodide Tablets and a Bristol Blues Foam Finger.
Saturday July 7, Non-disclosure Agreement Night
All fans attending the game must sign a Non-disclosure agreement (NDA). Fans can watch the game and enjoy the game, but with the NDA in place they are strictly prohibited from discussing or disseminating any information about the game unless they receive written consent of the Bristol Blues, the FCBL or Major League Baseball.
Saturday July 21, TSA Pat-down Night
That’s right every fan over the age of 21 coming through the gates will be subjected to an “enhanced” TSA Pat-down like they are on a government watch list. The civil liberties and legal groping issues will take place at all entrances and food and souvenir lines as well.
Questions like “Can you do that again?” or “What are you doing later” will not be viewed as “funny.”
Attendance is expected to be well below average for the evening.
Friday July 27, Second Amendment Night
Join the Blues Friday July 27th at Second Amendment Night! Every fan over the age of 18 will receive a copy of the Second Amendment courtesy of the Bristol Gun Club. It is all there, “A well regulated Militia,” blah, blah, blah. You know the words. Well, at least the first part anyway.
Also, included is Federalist No. 46, a metal ammo case and some thoughts and prayers too just in case.
The Bristol Blues are a member of the Futures Collegiate Baseball League of New England and play at Muzzy Field.
That’s it I am done.