The Bristol Chamber of Commerce help a municipal forum Monday night at St. Paul Catholic High School. Due to a prior obligation I was not able to attend. However, I had a mole in the audience and here are his observations:
All times EDT
Found a seat and just settling in. Oh no these seats don’t have cup holders. What kind of hell is this? Where am I to put my iced coffee?
There are a lot of important people here mingling with other important people I guess that’s why they’re important people. It’s high school all over again.
Currently scanning the room and looking for Mandy Woods but I don’t see her. I was hoping to add her autograph to my copy of the Rose Report.
Cara is wearing sky high heels? Are they those Christian Loba…Luba..Lobo…whatever the F they are called? Holy God they are high. I hope she is not afraid of heights. Jesus!
“Eric Carlson” starts us off. Whenever he speaks I feel like I am part of a sleep study.
Okay. Uh huh – yeah, regular guy. Yup. Got it…heard that before. Hmm. Zzzzzzz.
Here comes the F5 tornado that is Andrew Howe. Wait up, Andrew spoke from the heart. He hit all the right notes and I wish he did more of that.
Andrew…hang on a friend on Snapchat just sent me this funny video of himself. I’ll wait til Andrew finishes talking about… Oh this is so funny, I wish I could share it on my stream. He looks like a dog with that photo filter. Look at him!
This debate is very interesting. As a side note, I counted 500 tiles in the ceiling.
What is wrong with the microphone? I can’t hear anything. It sounds like everyone needs more fiber in their diet.
I brought some hard candy and just bit into one and it crunched really loud. I feel like everyone is staring at me. Mary Fortier heard it from the stage because she is staring right at me. How can she see that far? I’m way in the back and she wears glasses.
Anyway, I can’t finish eating the candy so I got a Kleenex and spit the candy into the Kleenex.
There are no garbage cans here and I can’t keep it in my pocket. What do I do?
Problem solved. I put it in a container the person next to me has.
Oh, no, he’s drinking out of it now. Maybe he won’t notice …I think he noticed. Shiiii-oh intermission!
Ellen and Ken take the stage. The body language is interesting because they are radioactive isotopes.
In keeping with the theme of the last two weeks, wouldn’t it be funny if right now Ellen produced photos of Ken dressed as Frank-N-Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show to embarrass him, and he produced photos of Ellen cheating on a diet to embarrass her? And then the moderator, in an effort to shut that avenue of the debate down, threatens both with photos he says he has of them laughing, joking and tickling each other.
When Ken gets done speaking I keep expecting to hear a rim shot. Ba-dum-tshh.
The guy behind me is taking bets that Ellen is going to say she got straight As on every homework assignment ever. I don’t like the action so I am passing.
Uh oh. Time to block my ears because Ellen is getting into Ellen-speak. Nooooooo! Oh wait she’s done. False alarm.
Ellen is connecting dots and Ken is; I am not sure what Ken is doing. He is railing about tax and spend democrats, a photo of Ellen and Governor Malloy and something about 60 million or 66 million dollars. I don’t know and I don’t think he does either. At least he is not ruffling around with his papers like he did in 2015. Progress!
Closing statements already? What a ripoff. I could listen to these two all night. Why can’t there be an encore?
Is the debate post mortem at Sporty’s? How come they don’t make an announcement like for post funeral receptions? “Thanks’ for coming you are now invited to Sporty’s for ill-tasting hors d’oeuvres and appetizers.” I would go because I am so hungry.
The election is Tuesday November 7, 2017. Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive and semi-accurate election coverage.