Forestville Celebrates Lincoln’s Birthday

February 12, 2018

The village of Forestville has a several events planned today for Lincoln’s birthday that have nothing to do with the 16th President of the United States and Great Emancipator.

However, there will no reading of the Gettysburg Address or his Second Inaugural. Instead, the following activities are planned:

The Manross Library will host Basket Weaving for Men at 9AM. Instructor, famed Forestville coach, Coach Halpert, will guide men and boys through the intricacies of basket weaving because as the brochure says, “Basket weaving just ain’t for chicks.”

Using marram, straw, willow or bramble, guys will make baskets that are suitable for holding flowers, towels, tiny little soaps, medium wrenches and 3/4″ lug nuts.

Over at the Forestville Historical Society will be an engineering class for women entitled, Engineering for Women. The class is from 1PM until whenever.

Forestville resident Dr. Emma Glockenspiel will teach women civil engineering while they sip wine, gossip, knit, post entries to their gratitude journals or organize their coupons.

Dr. Glockenspiel is a civil engineer with a husband and three loving children and yes, she is very happy.

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MLK Day 2018

January 15, 2018

Here is your guide to Martin Luther King Jr. Day in Forestville for 2018.

WEATHER:

MLK Day tailgaters better bundle up because temperatures will be in the low 20s under mostly cloudy skies. Winds from the northeast at 9mph are not expected to impact kickoff.

SCOUTING REPORT:

Entering the 32nd consecutive MLK Day as a federal holiday, the country needs some inspiration following another week of ignorant comments by Trump about immigrants, and the unmistakable sound of silence about those comments from the Republican Party and his supporters.

A nation more divided and more polarized since Trump took the Oath of Office, makes today a must-win scenario even though we are only a year into his presidency.

Clearly Trump is in the hot seat so expect him to make obligatory comments today about Mr. King, and the continued cause. However, scouts worn, Trump’s remarks will not be believable due to his blatant disregard for nonwhites, and anyone that is not him.

INJURIES:

Forestville reports the following injures:

Questionable:

Bobby Darwin – Hamstring
Louisa Delgado – Arm
Dick Drago – Elbow
Courtney Flowers – Ankle
Jennifer Jeffries – Knee
Saul Lowenstein – Illness

Drago and Darwin will not start today, but are expected to play. They have been listed as “Out” since New Year’s observations so this is an upgrade.

Doubtful:

Bob Bailey – Shoulder

FESTIVITIES:

Today’s Opening Ceremonies are sponsored by: Hoover Vacuums, Vacuums that Really Suck.

Today’s Closing Ceremonies are Sponsored by:
Ode de Smoke Cologne, Small Like a Cigarette Without Having to Smoke.

MLK QUOTE YOU MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD

“So we have been repeatedly faced with the cruel irony of watching Negro and white boys on TV screens as they kill and die together for a nation that has been unable to seat them together in the same schools.”
April 4, 1967

OTHER MLK QUOTE YOU MAY HAVE NEVER HEARD

“What time is it?”
October 10, 1962


Residents Looking Forward to Next Water Main Break

January 14, 2018

A recent rash of water main breaks in Bristol and Forestville disrupted traffic, and resulted in a school closing.

Melody Meadows, a single mom of two young girls, recently moved to the area near Pine Lake and has become accustomed to the news about broken water pipes during her abbreviated time as a resident, “There were six or seven water main breaks in rapid succession, so the kids and I thought they were just part of everyday life in Bristol. We are a little disappointed that there hasn’t been one in a few weeks though,” she observed.

Yorick Besch believes the presence of water officials in his neighborhood is reassuring because it is a crime deterrent. “It was frustrating not having access to water, but at least no one was trying to rob the local convenience store because the Bristol Water Department was here repairing the break,” he said.

Water officials say extremely cold weather is the likely culprit for the broken pipes and the discolored water too.

The broken pipes created a great deal of news for the Mum City so the Chamber of Commerce is urging the municipality to provide tours of the water main breaks in the spring. “Due to the news generated they should be marketed as significant cultural exhibits. Tourists enjoy unique attractions and a bus tour of these places would be great for the community, ” the chamber said in a statement.


Guide to the 2017 Mum Festival Parade

September 24, 2017

For residents of Bristol and Forestville, the historic Mum Festival Parade is the bringing together of community, families and fun. So, if you are attending the parade today, here are some important details organizers would like you to consider:

* This year’s parade begins exactly at 1:30 PM. Late arrivals will not be allowed to view the parade.

* For those not able to attend the parade during the day, a second parade will be held beginning at 9PM.

* Waving is strictly prohibited. Spectators are reminded to not distract the marchers by waving at them because they need to concentrate on marching.

* Even though the parade is only hours away the route is still not determined because organizers want an organic – free flowing loosey-goosey feel to the event.

* The streets along the parade route are not closed to traffic so marchers, parade floats and spectators must remain alert.

* Unlike prior year’s the Parade Float Race will be held during the parade to give the event some death defying excitement!

A Long (Cursed) Parade History

* The first Mum Festival Parade was held in 1962, which is a long time ago.

* According the Census Report a lot of people that marched in 1962 are now dead and or deceased.

* 1976: In a bizarre accident along the Boulevard, the Shriners in their tiny cars collide. Grown men wearing fezzes are banned for a year.

* 1984: Spectators fall into a bottomless pit along South Street and are presumed “missing.” Authorities believe they are still falling.

* 1991: Parade delayed a week due to tuning a mishap. The Bristol Central Marching Band collides before the parade begins, and it takes three days to untangle the horn section.

* 2010: In a case of collective amnesia no one shows up for the parade.


Vacant Lot Fest 2017

May 13, 2017

Right it down! Vacant Lot Fest 2017 is taking place Saturday July 8th. This special one-day event will feature a walking tour of the vacant lots in Forestville by noted empty lot historian Alex Chipley.

Mr. Chipley explains the history and explores the properties along East Main Street that were once vital to the community, but have fallen on hard times

Join Mr. Chipley for a journey back in time at one of America’s premier collection of empty lots. You will find inspiration and neglect as you explore the empty land parcels dotted along Forestville’s landscape.

Ken Wormer will be the featured guest. Mr. Wormer once owned a lot that is now contaminated with overgrowth, trash and industrial waste. He will be available for autographs, photos and signing vacant lot memorabilia.

The tour will leave from the post office at 6PM and is expected to take two hours. This event is sponsored by the Forestville Historical Society.

Vacant Lot Fest 2017 will be opened by the classic rock band Foghat. The band, known for the hits “Slow Ride,” and “Fool For the City” was briefly popular in the 1970s.

Admission to the event is free but the ticket is $10.00.


Changes for the 2017 Pequabuck River Duck Race

May 6, 2017

Tomorrow the annual Pequabuck River Duck Race will be held in Forestville. 5,000 rubber ducks will be poured into the river and float downstream with the ticket holders winning prizes.

This year, to add to the excitement, some ducks will explode on contact with other ducks. Fishermen will wait downstream to get the dead fish that surface from the detonations.

Gambling on the ducks will also be legal with an odds maker and bookie from the Pequot tribe officiating.

And to complicate matters more, it will be a relay race. After reaching Nuchie’s the plastic ducks will have to go back up stream. The first to reach Andrews Street will be the winner. Race officials admit that it is going to be a really long day.

While many residents admit they enjoy the festivities and charitable causes many only attend to see the ducks crash or sink.

The Most Spectacular, Death-Defying Crashes in Pequabuck River Duck Race History

Since its humble beginnings there have been many race tragedies. People falling into the river, ducks spontaneously combusting into flames and horrific wrecks. Here are some of the most memorable Pequabuck River Duck Race crashes and moments:

2005
Duck 314 crashes along the river bank and does not complete the race. He was later removed by volunteers and recycled into a boot.

2006
Ducks 619, 714, 1812 and 3976 sink to the bottom of the Pequabuck. To this day they are presumed missing as their whereabouts remains unknown.

2010
Duck W50 was initially declared the winner. However, it was soon discovered that the plastic duck was introduced into the race at the last minute along Broad Street.

2013
In pre-race festivities, Duck 500 was given a river burial for honorable service. His body was laid on its side under the flag of Forestville and rolled over the edge of a plank into the water, along with a rock weight tied to its neck. In the moving ceremony, a lone bugler played, “Be Kind to Your Web-Footed Friends” as veteran sponsors saluted.

2014
Snipers fire salt rock at the ducks in attempt to influence race results. The snipers linked to the Icelandic State, yelled, “Odin is great!” and tried to make their getaway on a waiting Viking Longship.

The festivities start at 11AM with the race at 2PM.


May Day Protests Cause Mayday For Bristol

May 2, 2017

The violence that visited May Day protests overseas spread to Connecticut, but for different reasons.  Bristol’s own May Day centers not on worker rights but honoring flowers.  The Forestville Garden Club held its annual May Day March For Plants Monday, where as its president Synthia Marsh says, “We walk for those that can’t.”

However as in past years, the march turned violent.  Shouting “Rafflesia arnoldii are flowers too!”, “Justice for Euphorbia esula!” and “Hell, no – We won’t grow!”, protestors hurled seed packets and bulbs at riot police.  Two policemen were sent to the nurse at Chippens Hill Middle School with bits of pollen in their eyes.  Passersby were sent fleeing to the scene to take selfies.

Ms. Marsh issued an apology on behalf of the club, blaming the violence on a few members who drank too much cooking sherry.  Others claim the violence was incited by a particularly raucous episode of “The Victory Garden.”  The Forestville Fire Department is also investigating to determine if arson was the cause.