Another Nor’Easter Coming to Forestville But First…

March 21, 2018

A Winter Storm Warning is in effect for the village of Forestville today as a nor’easter is bearing down on the ville. This is the first nor’easter since the last the last nor’easter. How much snow is expected? We will let you know right after this message from the State of Connecticut Tourism Division.

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A major nor’easter has its sights set on Forestville and Bristol so a Winter Storm Warning is in effect for Forestville and Bristol for Wednesday and into early Thursday.

Satellite images show a weather event will happen today and result in a significant accumulation of snow so roads will have to be plowed. We will let you know which roads will be plowed, and how much snow is expected right after this.

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In case you missed it: A massive winter storm is headed east so the National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Warning for the entire village of Forestville, Bristol and the state of Connecticut!

Snow is expected to fall from the sky and land on the ground resulting in the roads having to be plowed with driveways, and sidewalks to be shoveled too.

The wind will be from the east and then the northwest, but later from the south and then the north. The causes of wind, which roads are to be plowed and how much snow is expected are coming up. But first this:

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To recap, a snowstorm of biblical proportions will batter the entire village of Forestville, Bristol, the state of Connecticut and New England Wednesday, Thursday and maybe forever!

This storm will result in massive power outages, death, general chaos and the region being wiped from the map!

What cities and towns will no longer exist? Who will lose power? Who will die? What roads will be plowed? What does snow look like and how much snow is expected and when are still to come. Plus, traffic and a funny cat story but first these words from…


Egads Snow! What are the Ramifications and is it the Charter Revision Commission’s Fault or the Plastic Ono Band?

March 7, 2018

The National Weather Service says a foot of snow is possible for Bristol/Forestville Wednesday. Consequently, a winter storm warning is in effect for most of Connecticut until Thursday.

Who Will be Blamed?
The Bristol Charter Revision Commission.

According to Bristol Republican Town Committee Chairman Jeff Caggiano, since the proposed changes to the commission many weeks ago, there has been a sharp rise in weather events. “For week’s we have watched storm after storm roll through Bristol and Forestville. Last week’s nor’easter, a foreboding storm for Wednesday and a storm most likely next week,” Mr. Caggiano noted. “How many more storms must we watch before people start connecting the dots? Collusion anyone?”

What are the Expectations?
Bristol Schools will be closed and parents will complain about the Board of Education on social media.

“In anticipation of the criticism, crisis teams will be available for angry parents,” remarked the Chairman of the Bristol Board of Education, Chris Wilson.

Forestville resident and crisis actor Alisha Strauss could not wait and took to Bristol Complains Friday night, and wailed about the impending snow, “Snow has been around for billions of years and you never heard about school closings. Now, school closings are the norm. First, they close the schools whenever it snows and then they try to take away guns whenever people are shot. My God when and where does it end?”

What are the Take Takeaways?
Snow sucks and everyone is miserable and likes to complain.

What are Regular People Saying?

While patiently waiting for the snow in his living room Wednesday morning, Omar Hassan told Boardman, “In the John Lennon Plastic Ono Band song God, Lennon wrote, ‘God is a concept by which we measure our pain’ and that he didn’t believe in Elvis, I Ching, the Kennedy’s and the Beatles to name a few. Well, I agree to an extent but I don’t believe in snow, parking bans or Boardman. I blame the Plastic Ono Band for school being canceled.”

What are the Beautiful People on Chippens Hill Saying

“Oh is it going to snow? I can’t even; you poor plebs. What time are you coming to take care of my driveway?

Federal Hill Association to Provide Trolley Tours Following Winter Storm

February 7, 2018

Bristol/Forestville will receive a wintry mix of ice and show Wednesday with schools expected to be closed. Accumulations will be 2 to 4 inches with the higher elevations to receive slightly more.

The Bristol Federal Hill Association, anticipating the community wants to know how residents of Federal Hill faired during and after the storm, will have trolley tours all day Thursday so everyone can see for themselves. The tours will feature first-hand accounts by Federal Hill residents about the challenges they faced watching others clean their driveways and sidewalks.

There will also be stories by survivors who braved the elements, and removed snow themselves with a snowblower or shovel.

Meanwhile, Thursday morning, the mayor and acting mayor will survey the snow covered Federal Hill neighborhood from a helicopter to verify there is no damage. Later, they will attend a media briefing and update the city if Federal Hill residents require aid or assistance.

If you need information about how family and friends in the Federal Hill neighborhood are doing after the storm, the city encourages you to call the hotline they set up at 1-800-FEDERAL. The hotline is open from 6:30 a.m. until midnight every day until the next storm rolls in.

Schools Closed Today Parents Still Outraged

January 17, 2018

Bristol and Forestville schools are closed today due to a winter storm that is expected to drop 4-7 inches of snow.

The Board of Education made the decision to cancel school Tuesday evening. However, for some parents that was too late. “They knew ten days ago about this storm so they should have canceled then,” said one mother named Marla Walley, who asked not to be identified. “Waiting until the night before the storm is ridiculous! It could have and should have been done last week.”

Parents also complained that the accumulations are not expected to be substantial and blamed the BOE. “Four to seven inches is a waste of everybody’s time. If the Board of Ed wants the day off then they should have a real snowstorm. The Board of Education can’t get anything right,” remarked Rosa Martinez, a parent.

Others were livid with the Public Works Department because their road was not the first to be plowed. “This is ridiculous. I live on a fault line so my street should be plowed first,” remarked Mark Hannah. “If there is an earthquake during the storm how will first responders help me if my road is not plowed?”

Forestville resident Omar Hassan saw it differently. “I live on a very important secondary road so it should be plowed well before everyone else. No it is not near the hospital and no it is not a state road, but it is an essential neighborhood road that is used as a cut through.”

In a related story. Bristol Talks is complaining again…….

Forestville Resident Successfully Battles Blizzard

January 5, 2018

Armed with nothing but a Toro PowerMax 826 snow blower and a Briggs and Stratton Engine with 7.75 HP, Forestville resident Andy Kepler successfully battled the January Blizzard of 2018.

Despite the 30 mph wind gusts and his wife yelling to him from the comforts of their home, “You’re doing it wrong!” Mr. Kepler prevailed.

After battling the snow for two hours Mr. Kepler answered questions from the media.

Opening statement:
The storm made a lot of plays; dropping three inches of snow in an hour and the consistent wind. Stuff like that makes you dig deep within yourself.

It was tough and hard fought and I am thankful we came out on top.

On the injury front I tweaked my arm but other than that I am okay. I will take your questions now.

Was the storm a tough challenge?
It was a tough storm no doubt, the furious bands of snow coupled with the wind made for a good scheme. The blizzard played hard and tough. We just kept battling.

How was this blizzard different than others?
Each winter storm is unique but there are many similarities. As I said, it was a tough storm and it competed well. Obviously, it takes a lot to beat a storm like this. We just wore it down.

Did you feel that you were limited in your opportunities?
Limited? Nah. It was all the prep work. Granted we had a slow start because of the drifting snow and swirling winds, but we just kept battling and making plays so to speak.

What were the keys to victory?
Instead of making full width passes through the snow I did smaller passes about one-third sometimes half. It took longer but it was much smoother.

Are you surprised by today’s results?
Not really. The work I did in the off season made all the difference. New spark plugs and I sprayed the auger; game changer right there. Plus, when I was a kid, my father told me, ‘Give 110% every snowstorm no matter the amount.’ His words were with me the whole time. This win is just as much as mine as it is his.

What were your emotions at the end there?
The emotions were up and down all day as they always are I can tell you that. I was just relieved at the end when it was over because I was tired, cold and hungry after a hard fought win. But you know the work is not done. Tomorrow it’s on to my mom’s driveway and let’s win there too.

Any message for the critics?
You mean Mrs. Kepler? [Laughter]

Oh the ‘you’re doing it wrong comment’. Yeah, she said the same thing about how I put the dishes away, and how I rake too so I just let that stuff go. Although she has to vacuum tomorrow so I might heckle her with comments like ‘Bor-ing!’ [Laughter] We shall see.

SNOWPOCALYPSE: Delay or Not to Delay, Bristol Talks Does it Again – Will Change Name

December 15, 2017

Following another day of mass hysteria on Bristol Talks, the Facebook community page announced it will change its name to Bristol Complains.

In a press release announcing the change they stated, “Everything about the page will remain the same. Members can still post funny cat videos, look for jobs and complain about everything.”

The name change became necessary as the popular community Facebook page made the news once again. All day Thursday Bristol residents took to the page and expressed their rage that Bristol schools were not closed or at least delayed following a substantial dropping of one to two inches of snow. The devastating snowstorm, named Snowpocalypse, hindered and in some cases paralyzed driving conditions during the morning commute. As a result, the fury of the members postings found their way to local TV outlets.

Immediately after the announced rebranding to Bristol Complains, the page lived up to the new name as residents began criticizing the name change.

“This is so stupid!’ said one.

Added another, “Is nothing sacred anymore?”

Administrators attempted to quell the grumbling and issued the following statement, “The name Bristol Complains is a name everyone can relate to. It is not only more representative of the community, but society as a whole.”

No word on if Ur Probably From Bristol If…or Bristol Roundup’s Community Group will change their names too.

Parts of Forestville Without Power

October 30, 2017

Some Forestville-area homes and businesses are without power today due to a powerful east coast storm that brought wind and plenty of rain.

The power outage is caused by strong damaging winds. Local amateur meteorologist Dirk Brentwood said the wind was much needed, “We have had a wind shortage the second half of this fiscal year. The wind in the third quarter alone was spotty at best so these damaging winds come at a good time.”

Luckily the Boardman offices have not lost power and nor do we antici # (_) = .-.- ——–