Bristol Democrats Roll out the Red Carpet at Big Event – P.S. It’s Ellen!

May 16, 2017

Last night after much speculation, Ellen Zoppo-Sassu announced she is running for mayor in front of a standing room only crowd at the Bristol Historical Society.

If elected she will be will be the first mayor in the City of Bristol to have a hyphenated last name.

This sets up another showdown between Ellen and the current mayor, Ken Cockayne. Should the mayor prove to be victorious he will be the first mayor in Bristol to win three consecutive elections since the last time a mayor won three consecutive elections.

The democrats pulled out all the stops by actively promoting the event on social media and with searchlights, airplane banners and dropping leaflets on unsuspecting residents.

Deane Kilbourne, Chairman of the Bristol DTC, was the Master of Ceremonies and opened things up with a big production routine. He was surrounded by dancers, torches and fireworks and did a Cirque du Soleil high wire production number amid pyrotechnics. It killed.

The women of the DTC ruled the red carpet with embellished dresses, tulle skirts, cashmere sweaters, sensible shoes and flowing tunics.

First Vice Chairperson for the DTC Kate Matthews showcased her new box clutch. With its clasp fastening and optional chain handle it was all the rage.

City Councilor Mary Fortier worked the rope line; shaking hands with fans and signing autographs while wearing a bold Shetland Blazer.

And mayoral candidate Ellen Zoppo-Sassu mingled with A-listers and supporters alike at the after party (which this reporter was not invited, humph!) while sporting new fashionable shoes.

The fashion critic for the Bristol Press proclaimed the evening, “The social event of the spring season.”

Meanwhile, this sentence was written for no reason.


Former Candidate for Mayor Exonerated from FOI charge, JFK Assassination, Tea Pot Dome and Breaking up The Beatles

May 11, 2017

Last year a Freedom of Information complaint filed against former City Councilor and 2015 mayoral hopeful Ellen Zoppo-Sassu was dismissed. The complaint, filed by the former Republican Town Committee leader, alleged she held secret meetings while in charge of a municipal task force.

During the investigation, the Freedom of Information Commission expanded the scope and depth of their probe to the assassination of President Kennedy, “It was only a matter of time before they accused her of that too,” said Claire Gurney, a spokeswoman for the commission on the matter.

The commission said they found no evidence that she was involved in the assassination of the 35th President because her name does not appear anywhere in the 26 volumes of the Warren Report, and most importantly, she was not alive at the time of the assassination.

The city GOP issued a brief statement stating they were unconvinced of her innocence regarding the events in Dallas in 1963. “Just because she wasn’t alive at the time of the assassination does not mean she wasn’t involved. We will keep looking for evidence.”

The matter came to light once again when republican candidate for city council Andrew Howe brought it up during his appearance on the State of the City program Sunday.

In response the Freedom of Information Commission issued a statement late Wednesday, “Let us be clear, the commission dismissed the complaint against Ellen Zoppo-Sassu. Additionally, we found no evidence that she had anything to do with the Tea Pot Dome Scandal, Watergate, Abscam, Iran-Contra, the breakup of the Beatles or the filming of Gigli.”

Who Will the Democrats Run?

April 22, 2017

Bristol Democrats have not decided on a mayoral candidate for the 2017 election. They have a strong and talented roster from which to choose. Here is a small list of prominent democrats that Las Vegas odds makers and political insiders say are in the mix.

Ellen Zoppo-Sassu
There is no better resume within either party. She is well-read, smart, talented and knows the issues. However she is left handed and there have not been many left handed mayors in Bristol’s history. Her political foes will hold it against her and no doubt the left handed issue weighs heavy on her decision to seek the top spot. Uncommitted voters say if she shows any evidence of being ambidextrous they will vote for her.

Calvin Brown
Calvin is passionate and enjoys politics yet he has not made a decision about his political future. Although he did tell a radio audience last month that he will hold everyone accountable regardless of what he decides. What punishment will Calvin unleash? A very stiff talking to? Letters to the editor in all caps? Unfriend Facebook friends? Hmm.

Morris “Rippy” Patton
Actively involved in the community and his profile continues to rise within the party. However, he is a Boston Red Sox fan and in 2016 the Sox were 9th in league ERA and backed into the playoffs. Will voters respond to a candidate that supports a team which backed into the playoffs?

Dave Preleski
Hard working, well respected and quiet, Mr. Preleski would be a capable candidate. Critics charge that he is so quiet that he has become the invisible man. Will voters elect the Claude Rains candidate?

The Unknown Candidate
The Unknown candidate is stoic, thoughtful, philosophical, genuine and ethical. That is until he/she must take a position. Like the backup quarterback or the next day’s starting pitcher, everyone loves the unknown candidate. He/she represents what we see in the best of ourselves. It is believed the Unknown Candidate will sit this one out though because he/she has too much baggage.

In the end everyone wants an election process that remains focused on the issues and not the candidates’ personalities. Unless of course you produce content that exposes absurdity and hypocrisy. You want everyone to play nice but you root for a free-for-all. Let’s hope however everyone plays nice in the sandbox (fingers crossed).

2017 Office Seekers to Receive Parting Gifts if They Lose

March 25, 2017

Following the completion of the 2017 local elections, The Registrars of Voters Office will provide parting gifts to the losers, “The gifts are a gratitude for seeking elective office,” they said in a press release.

The parting gifts will come in gift bags and be given to all office seekers in Bristol/Forestville that are on the ballot and lose. Among the freebies are organic skin, hair and beauty care products, slippers, pantyhose and travel brochures.

The Registrar’s office said the gift bags will be decorative and contain a wide variety of products intended as consolation prizes.

They dismissed criticism of the parting gifts saying they are a wonderful way for the government to show their appreciation to the losing candidates, “At the end of a long and tough campaign who wouldn’t want delicious jams, jellies and cheeses from Hickory Farms to ease the pain of losing?”

Thank you from the government

Other parting gifts are Pelvic tighteners, Sauna pants, Magic Gravity Balls, The Better Marriage Blanket, French Mediterranean Sea Salts, string cheese, protein bars, air vaporizers, cough syrup coupons, cold medications, See Thru T- Shirts and a glass frame with a photo of the current Registrar of Voters and Secretary of State.

2017 election parting gift