Due to State Budget Deficit Math, English and Science to be Cut from School

November 23, 2015
Board of Education Building

Board of Education Building

Republicans have long wanted to run government like a business. Therefore, according to sources now that they have control of the town council and the mayor’s office, they are planning on doing just that.

Faced with a growing state deficit, local school systems were told to slash their budgets. As a result town republicans are recommending that because math, english and science classes do not make any money for the school system they must be eliminated from the curriculum.

“The football programs make money. The Booster Clubs make money. Even the AV Clubs make money. Math, English and Science? They don’t make jack they lose money so they have to go,” said Latham Eikel, a republican operative.

Area republicans applauded the decision, “It’s about time we started running government like a business. Until these subjects can produce revenue and turn a profit, I see no reason for them to be taught in school!” remarked a gushing Cookie Genison, a registered republican.


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Deavers’ 4th of July Celebration in Forestville

July 4, 2011

Deavers' 4th of July

Saturday was John and Barbara (Babs) Deavers annual 4th of July party.  The party had the usual assortment of cocktails, scrumptious hors d’oeuvres and an actual dinner menu! However, the highlight of the evening was not the food, or the Forestville Orchestra playing various patriotic songs, or the fashion show for charity or even the inspiring fireworks display, it was, by far, Barbara Deavers.  With her shoulder length hair and summer tan showing off her shapely leg, Babs was easily all the rage.

Moving quickly through Forestville’s various social classes that were in attendance, I sensed everyone had a spectacular time.  Those lucky enough to be there included Larson Canover, Maria Malvado, Solomon Weeks, Mitchell Luby, Dan Blazjowski, Rene Dubois, Zack Flanders, Trever Canby, Clovis and Kletis Denim, Virgilio Gonzales, Harley Pritchert, Mike Hill and Beth Hill, Ted and Nancy Tanner, Cookie Genison, Rob Halford, Betty Boukus, Howard and Phoebe Faris, Joe Kapperstein, Silas Minutia, Norbert Pendleton and Toby Jacks.