Republicans have long wanted to run government like a business. Therefore, according to sources now that they have control of the town council and the mayor’s office, they are planning on doing just that.
Faced with a growing state deficit, local school systems were told to slash their budgets. As a result town republicans are recommending that because math, english and science classes do not make any money for the school system they must be eliminated from the curriculum.
“The football programs make money. The Booster Clubs make money. Even the AV Clubs make money. Math, English and Science? They don’t make jack they lose money so they have to go,” said Latham Eikel, a republican operative.
Area republicans applauded the decision, “It’s about time we started running government like a business. Until these subjects can produce revenue and turn a profit, I see no reason for them to be taught in school!” remarked a gushing Cookie Genison, a registered republican.