Last October, thirty something year-old Lynn Anne Chambers broke up with her boyfriend Mark. Since then she’s had difficulty attracting male suiters.
Best friend Muffy Bancroft said part of the problem is her shoes, “They are horrible!” she told Chambers at dinner Friday night. “You can’t be seen with the girls in the Forestville nightlife wearing flats.”
In recent weeks she has been spotted wearing Ugg boots, clogs, and clodhoppers. “She does not have to always wear Come F Me Shoes, but Jesus get in the ballgame,” Ms. Bancroft told Boardman.
Forestville’s high society is aghast at her shoe selection as well, and now they only refer to her as “That Chambers woman.”
Friends say, in response to the uproar, they plan an intervention.
Ms. Bancroft implored her friend to up her shoe game. “Lynn is not a trailer park moo-moo, but good quality CFMPs would really improve her romantic situation.”
This is not Ms. Chambers first run in with her confidants over her fashion choices.
In January of 2017, her associates were outraged because she wore inferior nylons to dinner at Nuchie’s. “It was a cringeworthy moment,” relayed one friend named Amanda Rice, who wished not to be identified. “Haynes stockings? I had a stiff drink to steady my nerves that night.”
And this last summer Lynn went afoul when she attended a clam bake in a Lilly Pulitzer Beach Dress, but without a matching clutch. “I threw up in my mouth when I saw that,” recalled Tameka Lopes, who is in therapy due to the incident. “You can’t unsee something so potent,” she glumly stated.
Muffy Bancroft hopes this is the apex of her friend’s fashion problems. “I am not sure how much more we can endure as her friends, but also more importantly as a community.”
The Forestville Fire Department declined to comment about the matter.