Forestville Police Make Arrest for Grammar Faux Pas

June 1, 2017

Forestville Police arrested Morgan Fogarty, on charges related to abusing the English language on social media. Ms. Fogarty, 40, a resident of Forestville, was arrested late yesterday afternoon.

She was charged with 18 counts of run on sentences and 13 counts of improper word usage. Fogarty was apprehended shortly after posting a long and tedious message on Facebook that one friend described as, “going on forever.”

Officers recognized Fogarty from her rudimentary mistakes, which included the wrong usage of excepted for accepted, there for their, and connecting clause after clause after clause with no punctuation.

Fogarty called her recent elongated posts, “merely a stream of consciousness” but police are not convinced. A spokesperson for the department said she has a history of mishandling the language with dangling modifiers, possessive nouns and abusing contractions. “I cant [sic] help it,” Fogarty wrote in her sworn statement following her arrest.