Mayor Announces Random Apology Tour

August 10, 2017

Following a city council meeting Tuesday night where the mayor issued a public and cryptic apology to a council member, which left many confused, he announced tour dates for his 2017 Random Apology Tour scheduled for this fall; the likes of which this world has never seen before.

During the tour the mayor will issue nonspecific apologies to organizations and clubs in cities and towns across North America. “I apologize they criticize me. I don’t apologize they criticize me. I can’t win,” the mayor said in response to the criticism and confusion over his apology.

Local bar band Closed Casket was the scheduled opening act, but due to the fortunate deaths of the entire horn section during a bizarre tuning accident they cannot participate. Instead Councilman Calvin Brown, who questioned the purpose of his apology Tuesday, vowed to follow the mayor from town to town and demand to know what he is apologizing for and who he is apologizing to.

The tour is sponsored by PODS.

2017 Random Apology Tour Dates

Monday September 18
Kiwanis Club – Roanoke, VA

Wednesday September 20
International Tomahawk Throwers Association

Friday September 29
Wyoming Stock Growers Association – Cheyenne, WY

Friday October 6
Maskwa Snowmobile Club – Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

Saturday October 7
Truck Stop Route 132 – La Pocatière, Quebec, Canada

Thursday October 19
Hurricane Biker Girls – Atlanta, GA

Wednesday November 1
KISS Army – Terre Haute, Indiana