Forestville Resident Claims Historic Find Regarding The Declaration of Independence

July 3, 2015
Page 2 of The Declaration of Independence

Page 2 of The Declaration of Independence

The Declaration of Independence was ratified by Congress on July 4, 1776, and much to the disappointment of everyone, there is no invisible treasure map on the back. However, a local researcher believes after years of investigating the Declaration of Independence that he has discovered a stunning historical find, a second page.

Forestville resident Kenneth Snipps claims page 2 of the Declaration has no additional grievances or content, but it does contain valuable information. “The founders wanted to reassure the reader, particularly King George that they were not missing important information because it did not have a closing salutation such as The End, so they added a second page with the disclaimer ‘This Page Left Blank on Purpose’”, he said.

Legal analysts say this type of language is common for legal documents, manuals and exam papers, but there is no protocol for a document of this nature.

Because the Declaration was not cared for properly it is fading away so Mr. Snipps believes Page 2 is being preserved in the basement at the Conservation Lab at the U.S. National Archives, or the U.S. Patent Office, he’s not sure.

Forestville Ushers in the New Fiscal New Year with Great Success

July 1, 2015
Happy Fiscal New Year Forestville!

Happy Fiscal New Year Forestville!

As the fiscal new year approached last night, Forestville was ready for the annual celebration.

This year’s celebration included star-studded musical performances from the punk band Kitty Litter Sponge Cake, Fisted Five and Closed Casket with Limping Larry on Harmonica for a few tunes.

There were balloons, confetti and handouts about the upcoming cuts to the state budget.

Forestville Police reported that, unlike last year when revelers screamed in delight, danced atop cars and lit fires rejoicing the reckoning of state government financial statements for accounting and tax purposes, there were no incidents of debauchery or destruction of public or private property.


Acclaimed File Clerk Robert Bland to Give Lecture

June 29, 2015


The Forestville Lecture Series presents File Clerk Robert Bland, at 7:30 p.m., Friday July 3rd at the home of Forestville resident Cookie Genison.

Bland has filed away millions of files and moved numerous boxes in his career, including accounting, insurance and general memos. His filing and alphabetizing abilities have resulted in positive work reviews and several raises. One supervisor wrote that, “Bland knows what he is doing when he must put a file in a drawer or storage or lift a 30 pound box onto a cart.”

A native of Delaware, Mr. Bland moved to Forestville in 1989 and has served as a file clerk with many companies throughout his professional career.

The Forestville Lecture Series is presented by the Warren G. Harding Society of Forestville and offers lectures on a wide and diverse range of topics by local eminent authorities.

USPS Gives Talk in Forestville

June 20, 2015


Murder was on everyone’s mind today at a conference about violence in the workplace in downtown Forestville. The talk was sponsored by the US Postal Service. As a result the speaker arrived late and delivered the wrong speech.

Forestville Denied the 2022 Winter Olympic Games

June 8, 2015
Forestville 2022

Forestville 2022

The International Olympic Committee ended months of suspense and announced Forestville will not host the 2022 Olympic Winter games, according to multiple sources.

Even though Forestville has no infrastructure to support such a project, a spokesperson for the Forestville Tourism Association expressed shock when she said “We are shocked that they said no.”

Forestville is located in central Connecticut and is so named because it was a wooded area when it was established in 1833. Despite the development of homes and businesses over the last one hundred and fifty years it remains a wooded area except for the areas where it is not.

Vacant Lot Fest 2015

May 9, 2015
Vacant Lot

Vacant Lot

Vacant lot enthusiasts from across the country will descend on Forestville for Vacant Lot Fest 2015 this June. This is the third time Vacant Lot Fest has come to Forestville and the timing could not be any better because the property at located 43 E. Main Street is now barren. The brick building that had been there since 1920 was recently demolished because it was falling into the Pequabuck River.

Legions of vacant lot fans annually attend such festivals and Forestville never leaves them disappointed. “It wouldn’t be Forestville if there weren’t a vacant lot somewhere,” said John Singer, a vacant lot enthusiast from Southington.

Vacant Lot Fest consists of autograph signings by vacant lot property owners, panel discussions, debris from former buildings, face painting, dunk tanks and a Saturday evening tour of all the vacant lots at dusk. “Forestville really knows how to do this right,” Singer said.

For Vacant Lot Fest attendees much of the excitement comes just from meeting others who share the same interest. “I thought I was the only one into this but I’m not,” Singer said excitedly, while standing at the empty lot at 259 E. Main Street. “It’s going to be so cool hanging with others who share this interest.”

Singer was in Forestville checking out the new attraction prior to the festival because he could not wait to see it, “I heard there was another vacant lot in Forestville so I just had to be here to see it myself before the festival.”

Vacant Lot Fest 2015 will be held the last Saturday in June and attendees are to gather in the empty lot near Todd Street at 10 AM. Tickets can be bought from the Forestville Tourism Association.

43 E. Main Street

43 E. Main Street

Local Man Invents Sexy Body Armor

May 1, 2015
Sexy Kevlar

Sexy Kevlar

In today’s world it is not a bad idea to always be wearing a bulletproof vest, but unfortunately most bulletproof vests are not fashionable.

Well, Forestville resident and entrepreneur Bob Knepper plans to open a body armor boutique for fashion conscience women. Forestville’s female residents will be able to wear tactical gear that is form fitting with sexy Kevlar helmets, alluring blunt trauma pads and seductive chiffon tactical ballistic shields.

All of Knepper’s tactical apparel will come in a variety of colors. So if you’re looking for a ballistic bomb blanket to snuggle take your pick from lavender, pink carnation, golf green, scuba blue, burnt sienna, cerulean, scarlet, dandelion, robin’s egg blue, candy pink and periwinkle.

Also, what woman does not like to accessorize to help her stand out? Ladies you will be able to accessorize your body armor with Kevlar handbags, anklets and belts.

No word on when Kneeper’s body armor fashion boutique will open but he promises it will be soon and in the heart of Forestville. I can’t wait!


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