April 21, 2015
Baseball has many rules that have lasted and been modified through the centuries. But that does not matter to one parent from wanting a change at Forestville Little League.
Little League commonly has three coaches on each team and when one team is hitting there is a coach at first base, third base and one in the dugout. Ellen Zapata, a mother of two, wants FLL to have a second base coach instructing the children that make it to second base.
“How come there is no coach at second base mentoring these children? The runners at first and third receive preferential treatment and I want to put an end to it.”
It does not matter to Mrs. Zapata that there is no second base coach at any level of baseball.
“I see nine, ten and even eleven year old boys all the time standing on second base. They are alone, frightened and confused because they are receiving no guidance or instruction and that is wrong.”
No word on when she plans on raising this with the board.
April 3, 2015
St. Joseph Polish Society Building
The Warren G. Harding Society of Forestville gathers in secret once a month at the St. Joseph Polish Society Building to honor the 29th President of the United States.
Members must resemble the former president both in dress and physicality and they are encouraged to write poorly, bribe one another and have sultry affairs just as Harding did.
Although considered the worst chief executive in the nation’s history, the society carries on with a Warren G. Harding Look at Like Contest and a Warren G. Harding Talent Show where members compose and perform original songs about old “Wobbly Warren.”
This May the society will sponsor a Sadie Hawkins Dance for high school students that look like President Harding. Proceeds from the dance are to be donated to the Warren G. Harding High School in Bridgeport, Connecticut, after bribes are paid in the same manner as The Teapot Dome scandal in tribute to the former president.
Warren G. Harding
March 21, 2015
Circle Street is a .3 mile road off of Central Street that is home to the Forestville Cemetery, the Zion Church and a little over twenty houses.
However the Friends of Forestville, a local community group, recently had Circle Street surveyed and believe the name of the road should be changed. “It does not go in a circle it just loops so why call it Circle Street? It’s dishonest and must be renamed,” said Silas Minutia the group’s president.
“When drivers turn on to this road they expect to be driving in a circle but they soon discover it’s a polygon at best. It sends a message to everyone that the people of Forestville are liars,” Minutia said.
The Friends of Forestville wrote several letters to the Department of Public Works demanding the road be renamed, but the letters went unanswered so they plan to start a petition to have the road name changed.
“Euclid was a famous mathematician and he wrote some of the most studied books in the history of mankind. I suggest the DPW read one and discover the circle. This is embarrassing,” Minutia sniffled to supporters while preparing the petition.
Satellite view of Circle Street
March 17, 2015
Busway under construction
Peggy Arpeggio commutes to Hartford every weekday morning from her home in Forestville by picking up Route 72 near the Pine Street Plaza. However, the Insurance Claims Processor has altered her morning commute, “I was bored with the ride so now I pick up 72 in Plainville. It takes longer but I don’t mind.”
Friends are not surprised by the change in Peggy’s commute, said one, “That’s Peg being Peg. I would not be surprised if she tried that busway at some point too.”
More of the busway under construction
March 16, 2015
Colgate is the official toothpaste of the Furlow Family.
After months of deliberation Jeannine Furlow changed her family’s toothpaste from Crest to Colgate, “I just was not happy with the results we were getting with our brushing so I made the change,’ said the married mother of three boys. Her sons did not notice the change and neither did her husband Mark, “Its toothpaste like I care.”
Mrs. Furlow did not expect any pushback from her family, “These guys don’t notice when I change my hairstyle so I knew they would not notice a change in the family’s toothpaste.”
The stay at home mom would not say if this is a long-term commitment to Colgate, “We are in the honeymoon period so all is good.”
March 15, 2015
Hank Lee Bowers is currently reading the literary classic Dante’s Inferno. However, the crafty mechanic said he is bored by the prose, “I remember why I feigned reading this stupid thing in high school. It’s translated from another language into English and is like watching a black and white foreign movie badly overdubbed man.”
The 14th century poem tells of Dante’s guided journey through hell and is regarded as a classic by academics and laymen, but Bowers is not impressed, “It’s certainly a classic. A classic waste of my time.”
Mr. Bowers is reading Dante’s epic because his girlfriend of two months purchased the book as a means of enlightenment. “Oh I am plenty enlightened. Things are really coming into focus for sure.”