Vacant Lot Fest 2015

May 9, 2015
Vacant Lot

Vacant Lot

Vacant lot enthusiasts from across the country will descend on Forestville for Vacant Lot Fest 2015 this June. This is the third time Vacant Lot Fest has come to Forestville and the timing could not be any better because the property at located 43 E. Main Street is now barren. The brick building that had been there since 1920 was recently demolished because it was falling into the Pequabuck River.

Legions of vacant lot fans annually attend such festivals and Forestville never leaves them disappointed. “It wouldn’t be Forestville if there weren’t a vacant lot somewhere,” said John Singer, a vacant lot enthusiast from Southington.

Vacant Lot Fest consists of autograph signings by vacant lot property owners, panel discussions, debris from former buildings, face painting, dunk tanks and a Saturday evening tour of all the vacant lots at dusk. “Forestville really knows how to do this right,” Singer said.

For Vacant Lot Fest attendees much of the excitement comes just from meeting others who share the same interest. “I thought I was the only one into this but I’m not,” Singer said excitedly, while standing at the empty lot at 259 E. Main Street. “It’s going to be so cool hanging with others who share this interest.”

Singer was in Forestville checking out the new attraction prior to the festival because he could not wait to see it, “I heard there was another vacant lot in Forestville so I just had to be here to see it myself before the festival.”

Vacant Lot Fest 2015 will be held the last Saturday in June and attendees are to gather in the empty lot near Todd Street at 10 AM. Tickets can be bought from the Forestville Tourism Association.

43 E. Main Street

43 E. Main Street

Local Man Invents Sexy Body Armor

May 1, 2015
Sexy Kevlar

Sexy Kevlar

In today’s world it is not a bad idea to always be wearing a bulletproof vest, but unfortunately most bulletproof vests are not fashionable.

Well, Forestville resident and entrepreneur Bob Knepper plans to open a body armor boutique for fashion conscience women. Forestville’s female residents will be able to wear tactical gear that is form fitting with sexy Kevlar helmets, alluring blunt trauma pads and seductive chiffon tactical ballistic shields.

All of Knepper’s tactical apparel will come in a variety of colors. So if you’re looking for a ballistic bomb blanket to snuggle take your pick from lavender, pink carnation, golf green, scuba blue, burnt sienna, cerulean, scarlet, dandelion, robin’s egg blue, candy pink and periwinkle.

Also, what woman does not like to accessorize to help her stand out? Ladies you will be able to accessorize your body armor with Kevlar handbags, anklets and belts.

No word on when Kneeper’s body armor fashion boutique will open but he promises it will be soon and in the heart of Forestville. I can’t wait!

Getting to Second Base

April 21, 2015
Baseball Field

Baseball Field

Baseball has many rules that have lasted and been modified through the centuries. But that does not matter to one parent from wanting a change at Forestville Little League.

Little League commonly has three coaches on each team and when one team is hitting there is a coach at first base, third base and one in the dugout. Ellen Zapata, a mother of two, wants FLL to have a second base coach instructing the children that make it to second base.
“How come there is no coach at second base mentoring these children? The runners at first and third receive preferential treatment and I want to put an end to it.”

It does not matter to Mrs. Zapata that there is no second base coach at any level of baseball.
“I see nine, ten and even eleven year old boys all the time standing on second base. They are alone, frightened and confused because they are receiving no guidance or instruction and that is wrong.”

No word on when she plans on raising this with the board.

Warren G. Harding Society of Forestville

April 3, 2015
St. Joseph Polish Society Building

St. Joseph Polish Society Building

The Warren G. Harding Society of Forestville gathers in secret once a month at the St. Joseph Polish Society Building to honor the 29th President of the United States.

Members must resemble the former president both in dress and physicality and they are encouraged to write poorly, bribe one another and have sultry affairs just as Harding did.

Although considered the worst chief executive in the nation’s history, the society carries on with a Warren G. Harding Look at Like Contest and a Warren G. Harding Talent Show where members compose and perform original songs about old “Wobbly Warren.”

This May the society will sponsor a Sadie Hawkins Dance for high school students that look like President Harding. Proceeds from the dance are to be donated to the Warren G. Harding High School in Bridgeport, Connecticut, after bribes are paid in the same manner as The Teapot Dome scandal in tribute to the former president.

Warren G. Harding

Warren G. Harding

What’s in a Name?

March 21, 2015
Circle Street

Circle Street

Circle Street is a .3 mile road off of Central Street that is home to the Forestville Cemetery, the Zion Church and a little over twenty houses.

However the Friends of Forestville, a local community group, recently had Circle Street surveyed and believe the name of the road should be changed. “It does not go in a circle it just loops so why call it Circle Street? It’s dishonest and must be renamed,” said Silas Minutia the group’s president.

“When drivers turn on to this road they expect to be driving in a circle but they soon discover it’s a polygon at best. It sends a message to everyone that the people of Forestville are liars,” Minutia said.

The Friends of Forestville wrote several letters to the Department of Public Works demanding the road be renamed, but the letters went unanswered so they plan to start a petition to have the road name changed.

“Euclid was a famous mathematician and he wrote some of the most studied books in the history of mankind. I suggest the DPW read one and discover the circle. This is embarrassing,” Minutia sniffled to supporters while preparing the petition.

Satellite view of Circle Street

Satellite view of Circle Street

Peggy Arpeggio Changes Route to Work

March 17, 2015
Busway under construction

Busway under construction

Peggy Arpeggio commutes to Hartford every weekday morning from her home in Forestville by picking up Route 72 near the Pine Street Plaza. However, the Insurance Claims Processor has altered her morning commute, “I was bored with the ride so now I pick up 72 in Plainville. It takes longer but I don’t mind.”

Friends are not surprised by the change in Peggy’s commute, said one, “That’s Peg being Peg. I would not be surprised if she tried that busway at some point too.”

More of the busway under construction

More of the busway under construction

From The Bard’s Cellphone…

March 16, 2015


I enjoyed this. Perhaps you will too.

Originally posted on Rachel Carrera, Novelist:

What kind of cellphone reception do you think England had in the late 1500s?
Have a fantastic weekend, friends!

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